Under a Crush yet again...
March 5, 2004: It was a Friday afternoon. I was waiting in the double door entrance of my school for my parents to pick me up. I wish I could have taken the bus so I could get out of school immediately, but whenever my parents are able to pick me up I just let them. Anyway, it takes like an hour for them to come there after I call them, so I sat there for a while.
So, I'm there, waiting, and a little bored. I see all the kids are rushing outside, glad that it's Friday. Eventually a petite blonde girl comes out, but she does not go inside, she waits in the double door entrance in which I am waiting in. I recognize her, but I do not know her personally. I know that she is a Sophomore, two years below me, and we shared a lunch period last year. As a matter of fact, she sat in a table next to me. At first I thought she was "average" looking, but as her hair grew a little longer I developed an attraction to her. Throughout my Junior and Senior years I found myself glancing at her as she walked through the hallways from time to time. When she was not in school for a couple of weeks, I was actually worried that she had transfered out. Call me self-centered, but I was a little suspicious that she transfered out because I looked at her too much. But my worries were erased when she came back. I decided to give up my obsession with her for a while.
So the petite blonde girl stands some distance away from me. She seemed to want to get home too, with her eyes focused on the cars parked outside, hoping that one of those cars were her parents. I, sitting against the back doors, occassionally glanced at her, then glanced straight ahead of me. At the same time I felt a little nervous. I'm generally nervous around people, especially around attractive girls. Soon, I see her walk outside to talk to her friends. I laughed softly at myself.
I must have scared her away, I thought,
either I was too nervous or I stared at her too much.
But it turns out the girl didn't seem intimidated by me. After talking for a while, she went back inside the double door entrance, and leaned against the back doors
right next to me. I started to feel a bit nervous, but at the same time, I enjoyed having her being this close. I was a little shy to talk to her, but I decided to try some subtle flirting. All that I can think of was crossing my legs. She didn't seem to notice, but it did help in reducing my nervousness somewhat. She waited there for a few minutes, and I was struggling not to look scared of this beautiful girl. She finally left when her parents came. As she left I chuckled happily to myself, thinking that she might have been attracted to me.
I guess you can say I'm a loser, because I'm making a big deal of having a pretty girl within close proximity to me. Fine, I will admit I'm one of those guys who can barely talk to attractive girls. But during that event I could conclude that she did had a slight attraction to me. After all, her friends were outside, and she decided to stay inside. But then again I see this girl wait inside the entrance all the time after school. She must get cold easily, I thought. That Friday was a bit chilly anyway.
Since then I thought she might have had an attraction to me, I decided to pursue my crush once more. Throughout the last couple of months I have always been thinking about her, and I cannot get my mind off her. The sight of her blonde locks and petite figure brings me pleasure. I tried, although quite passively, to find a way to talk to her.
More on what I've done in the next update.
